Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Anagnina - Monday

The window Internet is working well today, so we can post.

We decided to explore Angina, where I saw the saw the Ikea. It is
right across the interstate highway from the bus station. The most
direct route would be under the interstate while crossing a clover
leaf interchange. The diesel fuel coming off the highway smelled of
elderberries and death trap. So we went away from the doomed
interchange toward a bridge that looked less complicated on the GPS.
!There has to be an easier way, I think! However:
1.That doesn't mean, as a far-n-r, you are going to find it.
2.You have no moral obligation to find the absolutely cheapest and
mind-blowingly efficient option. NASA will not call for suggestions
(if you do call, please mark the voice-mail urgent so I don't miss
it). (This is what I deduce to be the truth - my obsession with
efficiency makes my actions communicate otherwise).
3. Unintentionally indirect routes (what Obama~ would say instead of
"getting lost" even when it's as bad as a blind man with a limp loses
his guide dog) are not always bad. UIR's produce new experiences* and
you find new things.
4. Getting yourself killed while pursuing the direct route is its own
form of inefficiency.

So we went on a 2 mile hike to actually travel 0.5 miles. Along the
way, we discovered a shopping mall. Air conditioned, with free
bathrooms with toilet seats(!), and escalators, it was a for real
mall. Noticeably absent were teenagers. They seem to be in every
shopping district. Their volume makes them hard to miss (I just got 5
years older by saying that).
We proceeded to the next stop+. Ikea was big as always. We had the
cheap snack bar hot dogs that came with a coffee and cola. The
fountain was outside the register, so I assumed free refills. There
were some instructions that may have been refill restrictive, but they
were in Italian; ignorance is bliss.

Then we found a sign:
Qui Internet veloce senza fili
Which translates to Fast Internet without wires

I got a very strong signal. But I couldn't connect. I tried to ask an
employee how to connect, but he didn't understand English. No luck.
Ikea was next to another mall, but this one was somewhat outside. It
had a McDonalds with free internet. This was ideal: uncrowded, air
conditioned, and with power outlets for the battery-challenged laptop.
But Italian terrorism laws require internet places to gather
information on users. So the registration process asks all sorts of
questions, like passport number and tax ID. In the US, this would be a
social security number. I tried every length possible. It was still
not possible. When I got home, I stuck the laptop out the window and
looked up Italian tax IDs, which are very complicated.
More info at:
The next day, on the way back from the Vatican. I tried using an
example I found. This corresponds to name, birth day, and other
JLT RSS 68A41 Z114A

This time I just got a generic server failure message. Another dead
end, after a lot of work.

We took a bus just to get back across the Interstate. There we found
a bunch of vendors hawking cheap goods. I like my €5 watch, but it
fits too snuggly (It doesn't look like a woman's watch, but it seems
to be made to fit them better. Strong enough for a man, PH balanced
for a woman?) So I got a €3 watch that fits better. The vendor even
set the time for me. He tried to make small talk with about 20 words
of English.

~As an American, I am required to state that I deeply respect Obama
and his eloquence. Even when his choice of words is vague and
confusing, they arc still eloquent and inspiring.

+Did you get the Vanilla Ice reference? If so, mail in to get a €0.05
coin. Offer expires 1/1/09. Voided by time travel or other quantum
mechanics manipulation.
Nervous people don't read these footnotes:
*except when they result in bodily injury, cancer, and, in some cases,
death (notice required by the California Bureau of Overwrought Safety,
Squaresville, CA 90318, (888) CANCER!! Leave out the last ! for shear
terror )

1 comment:

  1. This is my favorite so far... D, you crack me up!